Earlier this year I took up a challenging position at an elementary school here in town, while in the throes of graduate school. I learned very quickly that, while I loved what I did and was made for what I was doing, I was in over my head. I knew the job would be fraught with difficulties and hard situations, but I never knew there could be so many and in just one classroom.
My kryptonite, my undoing, has always been children who are suffering and in need (be those needs physical or emotional), and I met plenty of them. The job was tough but the emotional pull was tougher. My heart could break several times in one day. What I saw, what I heard left me distraught. I would pray for these kids and I would cry for these kids. The smart thing to do and the easy way out would have been to quit. But I knew that the Lord placed me there, and because he placed me there, he would sustain me.
I clung to that truth as I prayed for strength, wisdom, and love. God, in his grace, mercy and faithfulness strengthened, gave wisdom, and helped me love. The tagline for this blog—March on, my soul, with might!—comes from Judges 5, which I read one Saturday morning during those difficult months. Judges 5 is the song of Deborah after Sisera’s crushing demise. Tucked at the end of verse 21, amid acclamations of praise and victory, Deborah’s words call us to action. Her six words cut right to my heart. I didn’t need to quit or try to suppress the myriad emotions. I needed to take all that God had given me and all that God had allowed me to feel and march on, with might. So this became my anthem. Etched into my heart was the hope that God would sustain me and deliver me as he had Deborah. There would be a time for Kait to sing after the turmoil ended. But until then, I needed to march on, with the strength God provided.
School has been out for over a month now and I finished my last graduate class one week ago. Summer has been full of peace and rest—refreshing for this wearied soul. Though my internship in the fall is at another school and will have different difficulties, my anthem remains. My anthem will always remain but not because the career I have chosen is hard and I am passionate. My anthem will remain because the Christian life is hard, because believing in Jesus puts me at odds with the world I live in. I am always fighting against the world, the flesh, and the devil. This requires might. This requires marching. I do not get to saunter or skip. I march with singleness of heart and purpose: God’s glory. As I traverse a world wrecked by sin, I go in the strength God provides. That is how I march. God is my might.