Blues and violets were dancing together across the sky, accompanied by the setting sun. The trees on the hills strained to touch their tips to the periwinkle above. The highway dipped like a roller coaster and rippled for several more miles. It was a late-April evening in northern Florida, and it had been a day.
You know how some days can make your heart thump-thump-thump? My heart had been thump-thump-thumpy all day. Lessons hadn’t gone as planned and students were excessively edgy. Too many unexpected events, too many interruptions, too many minor hiccups were the perfect cocktail for a thump-thump-thumpy heart.
The sun turned from blindingly bright to brilliant, soft shades of apricot. I first saw it as the highway climbed. As the road rose, the sun got closer. I first noticed the cars around me when the highway dropped. A truck zoomed past on my left, rushing to his Friday evening plans. He raced by so fast that he was ascending the next hill as I was still descending. Cars all around kept zipping along, ignoring the orange orb above.
We are so small. The thump-thump-thumping started to slow.
The sun is huge right here. There was still a little thump-thump.
I know the God who made all of it. The thump turned to a more regular beat.
I know the God who made all of it! There was not one moment of that thump-thump-thumpy day that was out of God’s control. It was certainly out of my control. The thumping in my chest was evidence enough.
Heart-thumping days are not unique to me. We have all experienced them many times and in lots of ways. Hannah Anderson (author of Humble Roots) has had her share of them, too. She wrote this about a season when she struggled to rest because of her incomplete to-do lists:
“Why do all these ‘little’ things amount to so much? Why do small burdens feel so heavy? I wonder if I wasn’t worrying about these little things themselves so much as what these little things revealed about larger things—about what they revealed about my larger helplessness.”
Helplessness is not desirable in today’s society. We are all about being empowered and capable, not helpless and dependent. Nevertheless, this is all we are. We want liberty to do whatever we think and feel is right and good; there is only One who is right and good, and he calls us to lean on him, to come to him, and to depend on him for everything.
During the days when the thump-thump-thumping becomes thump-thump-thumpier, remember that God made you. He made the periwinkle sky. He made the monstrous sun and all its golden hues. He gave us both as beautiful, daily reminders of his power.